Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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