I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
