If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
