I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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