you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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