I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize