I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
