He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize