we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize