Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
