people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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