don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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