the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize