You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My dick has a subreddit
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
