i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
