saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize