i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize