I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
