I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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