some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
