when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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