So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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