So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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