The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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