pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize