If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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