I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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