Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
