I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
