Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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