if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
