life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize