make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
