Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
