Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
