yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
