No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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