i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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