Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
