You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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