in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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