Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
