I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
