i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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