Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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