He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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