im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Everclear isn't food dammit
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
