Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
