you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
