Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
