dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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