there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
