yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
