Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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