Me too!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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