guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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