There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I could fuck to npr.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
