I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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