All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize